Strength of Heart
by Kat Loussier
Summary: Jay's been hiding. He doesn't to see or speak with his friends. But a cold and stormy night changes everything for him. Can one person really make that much of a difference in his life? Moses x Jay
1. Act 1: Love Me Not

**A/N:** I really shouldn't be reading yaoi late at night, but the internet connection on my laptop fizzed out for some stupid reason, so I had to go downstairs and use the computer there. I read way too many JayxMoses fanfics for my own good, and I just decided to add my own to the collection, however sparse it may be. Well, here it is.  
Disclaimer: I will not claim ownership of these characters as they do not belong to me; they belong to Namco (lucky bastards).  
**Category:** Tales of Legendia  
**Pairing:** Moses x Jay  
**Rating:** PG, for this chapter  
**Summary:** (Postgame, yaoi, angst) Jay's been hiding. He doesn't to see or speak with his friends. But a cold and stormy night changes everything for him. Can one person really make that much of a difference in his life?

**Act 1: Love Me Not**

One would never have to doubt the quiet calm that would permead the town of Werites Beacon once night had fallen. It was the sort of feeling that would leave one at peace with the world, and allow them to forget the troubles of their lives. For one Jay the Unseen, it was just another thing that he hated about the town.

The Legacy had been the setting of many terrible memories for him, memories that he would much rather forget but he knew that, deep down, they would remain with them for the rest of his life. Many times he'd wondered whether he really had much left in his life that would give him a purpose to live, but he couldn't find much. The Oresoran really were the only thing that kept him going.

Solon had made him doubt that people could be good, he'd only seen the darker side of human nature, and could only see that when he spoke, or saw, others. He believed acts of kindness to be nothing more then a deciet to gain one's trust only for that person to be used as a tool for another's personal gain. He couldn't quite understand what it was that brought people to helping others, and he doubted that it was something he would ever experiance.

He isolated himself from others, believing what he'd been so often told as a child and young teen; that he was nothing more then a tool. An instrument of death whose only purpose in life was to take the lives of others. He wasn't allowed to have a life; to have dreams; to love anyone. He'd always believed that; but they'd tried to change that.

His friends; Senel, Norma, Will, Chloe, Shirley, Grune... Moses. They'd all shown him that people did care about him; they'd shown him the more noble, lighter side of human nature. But even all their efforts couldn't bring him to quite fully believe it. He'd lived a life of death; where each decsion was life or death. Where even the smallest mistake could result in the failure of the mission, or the loss of his life.

Jay had been used to being alone, even through all his years of living with the Oresoran, he'd always been alone; he'd never felt that he belonged there. He didn't believe that there was any place in the world where he'd feel that he belonged; where he'd feel loved.

In fact, he didn't think he'd ever recognize the emotion. No one had ever shown him, and he'd grown up in a world where feelings were irrelevant, shunned, unwanted. Someone who possessed these emotions were deemed weak and unfit for the jobs that a shinobi would have to carry out.

Jay wondered... he wondered if he'd ever be able to make up for all the people that he'd killed; all the people whose lives he'd destroyed in order to keep living his damned existance.

He hated Werites Beacon. He hated it because it reminded him of everything that he couldn't have; everything that his life had forbidden him to have; to know. It had been three years. Three years since he'd traveled with them, and in all that time, he could never bring himself to come back and speak with them. Yes he'd come back to watch them, to see if their lives had improved, but he never let them know that he was there.

It was best if he remained in the shadows.

He didn't want them to be burdened by his existance.

But as he watched them... he could feel his heart ache. It wanted the life that they had; the happy, peaceful lives where they lived without worrying over their sins. Where they acknowledged the past but refused to let it rule them. He admired them; he admired their courage.

He was such a coward.

Jay had changed a lot in the three years. Well, his appearance at least. He'd gotten tired of how people treated him as a child. The childish attire he had worn was gone, replaced by a much more mature attire; a more traditional shinobi attire. His hair two had changed. He'd cut it, choosing to hide behind them, as if concealing his eyes would prevent people from seeing his sorrow in his violet eyes.

No one had gotten into his heart before. But as he'd traveled with them, he'd felt the icy walls that had been erected around his heart begin to melt. He'd been... so afraid. With his heart exposed like that, he felt terrified that one of them would discover it and use it against him. So he hid, he hid beneath a tough exterior. He argue, he'd act smart, insult them, anything that would hide how... vunerable he really was.

But even then, he could feel his mask crumble at times, and it was those times where they would see it. Where they would see his weaknes. Once again, he feared being taken advantage of. But they never did; not once. For those brief moments, he really believed that they cared about him, that his life really did carry some meaning. Then, he'd remember how he'd been betrayed before, and he'd seal himself up once more. But someone had managed to worm their way inside.

Moses Sandor.

Jay did believe that Moses was a complete idiot, but the idiot had his priorities straight, and was stronger then Jay thought he would ever be. Moses.. he knew what mattered in life, and he considered Jay his little brother. It was an honor that Jay thought he'd never deserved. He didn't deserve anyone's love, anyone's attention. He would only cause them grief.

But maybe... maybe it was because he wanted something more from the bandit; something he knew that he'd never deserve.

Love.

That twisting feeling in his chest, that aching that refused to go away no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was not the emotion that he'd so long believed he'd never understand and never be able to give anyone. But somehow, his heart seemed to know what he wanted best; he just never wanted to listen to it because he didn't want to deal with anymore pain.

This night, the rain fell cold and hard upon the Legacy. Jay felt that the rain was much better then the warm, lovely nights that were all to common on board the vast ship. He despised the pleasant weather; he prefered the miserable conditions that were extremely rare.

He'd heard that there were such places on the mainland where such weather was a frequent occurance. Part of him wanted to go there; to hide in a place where his misery would be mirrored by the conditions outside, but he could never bring himself ti leavve this place.

His heart kept him here.

"Why... why can't I leave...?"

He'd asked himself that so many times, but it always would come back to the same reason. Because the one person that he thought he may love was here. He would never have the courage to say it to the man's face, but he could watch; he could watch as he went through his life, trying to understand what it was that made him feel that way about the bandit.

Someone may tell you that he was pining away for the bandit, under the belief and knowledge that the bandit would never return the feelings. He was sure that Moses loved him, as one would love a little brother, but he knew that the bandit would not, could not, return the feelings that Jay had for him.

The central plaza of Werites Beacon was normally a place where lovers would go, or meet; but in this downpour, no one dared venture out of the warmth and shelter of their homes; unless it was a dire emergency.

But Jay didn't care. He didn't care about the rain, or how cold he felt, or how wet he was. He wanted to prove that he could feel; that he wasn't just some tool that could be thrown away. That he didn't feel anything. But right now, all he felt was a numbing sensation spreading rapidly through his body.

He let an involntary shiver rack his frame, it was quickly followed by many more; but he didn't care. He recognized the symptoms of hypothermia, but he felt no compulsion to do anything about it. He didn't care if he died from the cold; because maybe their lives would be better off without him.

Oh yes, he knew they worried about him; he hadn't been seen or been in contact with them in three years. At first, they'd come by the village often, looking for him, but he'd never be there. Eventually, the visits became less and less frequent, until he was sure that he'd almost slipped completely from their minds.

Except his.

Jay couldn't understand why Moses continued to search for him, even now. But the bandit would always say that family doesn't abandon family, and that he wouldn't give up on Jay until he found him. It was a sentiment that warmed Jay's heart slightly. Yet he was sure it wasn't the same reason that he felt to keep on watching the bandit from afar.

Jay sat down on the edge of the fountain. He starred at his now black-gloved hands. Was this really what he wanted? For the only people who seemed to truely care about him to forget him? Was that it? Did he really see himself as being so worthless?

He clutched his head in his hands and cried as the hypothermia began to effect his brain functions, "Why...? Why can't I just let go of it?! Of it all?! Why?!"

If he'd expected an answer, he didn't get one; instead, the rain continued to poor undaunted by his distress. The tears started to fall. Disguised by the pouring rain, but he still knew they were falling. Leaving faint trails of heat down his face.

"Why do I... why do I keep coming back...? Is it... is it really because I love him...?"

Do I really love him?

That was his last thought before he allowed the darkness to claim him. His limp body hitting the ground, bruising his cheek and scratching it up just slightly.

He didn't hear the rapid footsteps and voice that called out to him, "Jay!"**  
**

* * *

Surprisingly, I found this chapter incredibly easy to write. Maybe it's because I can write for a more... subdued and slightly emo character better then the bright, cheery ones. Except when it comes to smut... TT I can't write emo/angry characters in that... they always end up teasing each other... Whatever the reason, this chapter just flowed out from my fingers. Any errors on my part probably stem from the fact that I was working on this at 2 AM in the morning. But I'm not tired and I want to finish as much up of this fanfic as possible.

Also, I strangely feel the need to create an epilogue for my story Left Unsaid. But I'm rather undecided on that. I'd really appreciate it if I got some feedback on that; so feel free to comment upon it if you like.

Please leave me a review; they make me feel so much better about pulling late nights to work on this stuff. So do take that into consideration. Flames will be given to Jade to use as fuel in his Infernal Prison spells.

Kat.


	2. Act 2: Hear You Me

**A/N:** My stupid, lazy plot bunnies finally decided that now was as good a time as any to work on this at around midnight. I know that the entry says differently, but I worked on this over the course of a few days because the ideas kept disappearing and I got tired of that so I had to go and play Legendia again so that I could inspire myself somewhat. I'll stop rambling now and get on with the chapter.  
**Pairing:** Moses Sandor x Jay the Unseen  
**Rating:** PG, for this chapter  
Disclaimer: Tales of Legendia and its characters belong to Namco, not me. I own nothing; not even a copy of this game. The title is from the song by Jimmy Eat World.

**Act 2: Hear You Me**

Every noise seemed muffled; even the rain. Jay couldn't quite figure out why, but his mind was oddly sluggish, and he was having problems putting two and two together. This would have frustrated him on a normal day; but this had been anything but a normal day, so the shinobi was a little more understanding of himself. It was probably because he'd tried to kill himself using hypothermia that caused his slow state of mind.

But that didn't quite explain why the outside noises were muffled; or why he was so warm.

Cracking his eyes open, Jay could make out the bland wall of the Werites Beacon inn. But wait, he'd collapsed in the plaza, so how could he have gotten to the inn? It didn't make sense to him. Even now, with his mind acting like a slug; he couldn't figure it out.

The storm, since he could see out the window, didn't seem to show any signs of having tapered off; nor did it seem like it was going to let up soon. Jay sighed and curled just a little closer to the warmth that was wrapped comfortably around him. Jay wasn't complaining; he was warm and he was comfy, two things that he very rarely had.

Until, that is, what he realized precisely what that warmth was.

Muscular, tan arms were wrapped around him; and a leanly muscled body was curled around his, providing warmth. It took a little longer for Jay to comprehend exactly who it was _who_ was holding him so closely; like a lover almost.

Moses.

Tensing up once the entire reality of the situation had crashed down on him, Jay wondered whether or not there was some way that he could get out of this situation without embarrassing himself any further then he probably already had. It couldn't get any worse, could it?

Unless the bandit had heard him talking to himself. That was something that Jay couldn't be sure he could live through; knowing that the bandit knew that he talked to himself and what he'd said... probably hadn't made much sense to him anyways, but still. The fact that he'd heard would be too much.

He brushed his cheek against his shoulder; wondering what the rough feeling on his skin could be caused by. He managed to move his arm to touch his cheek with his fingers; a bandage.

Oh, that's right, he'd scraped his cheek up pretty bad when he'd fallen.

Wait.

He shouldn't have been able to feel the rough gauze on his shoulder. So then why could he?

Quickly taking stock of his situation, for the second time, it was with a uncomfortable notion that Jay realized he'd been stripped almost completely naked and that the bandit was in a very similar state of undress. This... wasn't good. But Jay couldn't see anyway out of the situation in the near future, so he'd just have to continue feigning sleep and hope for the best. Fate, or whatever higher being was out there, sure seemed to like to chew him out and and torment him like this.

However, that didn't take away that Jay wasn't as uncomfortable with the situation as he should probably be.

Maybe... maybe that annoying little voice in the back of his head was right? Maybe he really was in love with the stupid bandit. That was a possibility that Jay would have to consider; no matter how much he didn't like it. Well, he didn't like it like he should, it was more like... a fear? A fear of what? Rejection?

Jay thought about it, and the more that he thought about it; he realized that really, he didn't have too much to lose by admitting to the bandit that he just might be in love with the bandit. He could easily disappear and feign that he didn't exist anymore if he **_was_** rejected. Jay was familiar with rejection; he was sure that he could deal with it.

He'd been able to deal with the abuse, the anger, the hatred that Solon had dealt him; he'd dealt with Grune's loss and the separation from his friends. Though the latter had been self-inflicted, Jay was almost completely sure that he could deal with the pain of knowing that Moses didn't return the feelings that he had for him. He had to hope that he could. But Jay knew that he would probably not live long if that happened; if he lost the one reason why he was still alive.

Because, whether he liked it or not, the bandit had centrally become the entire reason for his existence; the reason he was still alive now. Rejection... could he deal with it? He thought he could.

But... this would be the first time he'd fallen in love and the first time that he'd have been rejected. That was what Jay was unfamiliar with it. Just imagining it hurt beyond anything that he'd suffered through before; so what would the real feeling be like? Worse? The same?

Jay didn't know.

But maybe it wouldn't hurt to try.

He could say it; Jay would say it.

This one time, he could be brave and stick his neck out for his feelings.

He could do that much, right?

Jay's strength was about to be put to the test as Moses woke up.

"Mornin!"**  
**

* * *

I keep ending this off on like, cliffhangers; and Moses only gets like one line. I know that these chapters have been incredibly Jay-centric, but I think I actually like writing more for Jay than I do for Moses; even though Moses is a fun character to write for. I like writing this introspective stuff, and it's easier to write it for Jay than Moses. It just has to do with their characters.

Anyways, I think I'll update this story once every week. That's my aim; right now I'm going through a bit of an original writing phase, so I'm going back to some of my original work. I have one that I'm going to rewrite because I'm not very happy with it now.

For those of you who are reading this on , I actually post this story's updates on my Tales LiveJournal first before posting here. So if you want earlier updates, then you can check there. The third part of this baby should be out sometime next week. My Tales lj is soulsymphonia. Please leave me a nice little review telling me what you thought!

Enjoy!

Kat.


	3. Act 3: No More Sorrow

**A/N:** I know that I have my diplomas this month, and I'm supposed to be studying for them as they're worth a WHOPPING 50 percent of my final grade; but I just couldn't leave you guys hanging like that! Plus, I did manage to squeeze in writing those two phases of _Freedom_ and a fair number of drabbles, so I figured that I could apply a similar idea to this. I'm so grateful to those of you who reviewed! Thank you so much! Your reviews make me want to keep going even when it gets tough.  
So a special thank you goes out to ReveredMage and Hangye for their reviews! Thanks a lot!  
**Pairing:** Moses Sandor x Jay the Unseen  
**Disclaimer:** Tales of Legendia and its characters belong to Namco, not me. I own nothing; not even a copy of this game. The title is taken from the song by the same name by Linkin Park.

**Act 3: No More Sorrow**

"How do you feel? Any better? Y'know, I was worried there when I saw you collapse like that. Ya should've known better then to stay out in the storm like that!" Moses sat up, stretching; his arms over his head as he rolled kinks out of his back and shoulders. Jay tried to avoid staring as the muscles rolled and tensed before relaxing under tan skin; despite that, he couldn't help but admire the lean, muscled frame of the bandit out of the corners of his eyes. A pink blush tinged his pale cheeks and he buried his face in the pillow.

_What the hell have I gotten myself into?! This is Moses! The stupid bandit! Argh! So why am I thinking about him like some stupid teenage girl with a crush?!_

At this moment, Jay really wished the floor would just open up and swallow him so he could escape the embarrassment.

"Aw, c'mon Jay, I didn't mean anything by it!" A warm, broad hand rugged over his shoulder; Jay trembled at the touch, biting back a content sigh. But he couldn't resist the calming affect that hand had on him; all the tension faded from his body. Moses grinned. "So are ya gonna talk or not Jay?"

Jay mumbled something unintelligible into the pillow.

"Sorry, couldn't hear that; you're kinda muffled by the pillow."

Pulling his head out of the pillow just enough to speak, Jay muttered, "... I was thinking."

"Coulda picked a better time to do that ya know," Moses reprimanded. "Wait till it's better weather out; you'll catch somethin' and die if you do something stupid like that again." Not responding to that, Jay sat up in the bed, looking around and taking in the details of the room. It was definitely the inn at Werites Beacon, one of the not so expensive rooms, but not one of the cheap, overnight ones. Well, at least he was spared the embarrassment of having others bear witness to this.

"Maybe I wanted too..." Jay looked away; trying to think up a way to escape. He had nothing, there was simply no way around Moses without hurting him; and Jay's heart couldn't take even the idea of that. So now... he didn't know anymore! He really didn't! And that was something that didn't sit well at all with Jay the Unseen; he was the best at gathering information, at knowing everything there was to know. But in the realms of human emotion, he knew nothing.

Suddenly, warm hands were on his shoulders in a near vice-like grip; he found himself jerked so that he was facing the bandit, who was very clearly angry with him. He should have realized it, seen it coming, the consequences of saying something like that... Moses hated it. The bandit shook him a few times, as if it would help Jay realize just how much he hated him saying things like that.

"Ya idiot Jay! I've told you before! No talkin' of dyin' like that! You're life is worth so much more then that!" Jay hadn't heard this emotion from the bandit in a long time; this suppressed anger that possessed him whenever Jay talked of dying, especially his own death. It sent pleasant emotions rolling through his chest and his heart to rise from the pits of sorrow it had been in before. "And you... you've been avoidin' us all this time! I've known, I've seen ya there, always lurking where the others can't see ya. Ya stupid, stupid idiot!"

The urge to comfort the bandit, to apologize, to do anything that would make Moses forgive him for his own stupidity. But Jay held back, fearing rejection; that he would mess up. Because, really, that was what Jay really feared.

Failure.

"Every time, ya avoid me Jay. Me! I know the others, it might be understandable, but Jay..." Moses was obviously near the breaking point, and Jay was at a loss for what to do. Well, at least the logical part of his mind was.

But there was some small part of himself that did seem to know what to do, however, he was hesitant to try. His hand trembled and he reached out, but withdrew it quickly, instead balling it into a fist on his thighs. Jay knew he did a very poor job of offering comfort to anyone; his blunders in that department were too numerous to count. Well, it wasn't completely his fault that he was so emotionally stunted; but years without proper human contact, and without the usual interaction that was needed to develop social skills like this... Jay had would up being extremely emotionally backward. He was even worse than Senel.

Okay, maybe he could catch on quicker to emotions than Senel, but other then that, he was worse.

All he could do was, "... I'm sorry."

That was it, all that Jay could do without horridly screwing up the situation any more then he probably already had. He avoided Moses' eyes as best he could, staring at his hands in his lap. He felt incredibly, incredibly weak And guilt-ridden too. He blamed himself; he blamed himself for a lot of things. But this, Jay knew that if he was in his right mind he would never feel anything like this, was something that his heart was telling him.

Jay had never trusted his heart before.

But... he wanted to now.

"You're an idiot Jay; apologizing doesn't make up for everything!"

Jay didn't say anything.

For a few more moments, there was tense silence. Jay still wasn't looking up; afraid that somehow, his heart would betray him. He didn't know how Moses felt for him; and that was what scared him, but he was scared more that what he felt... wasn't returned. That would hurt, the thought of it threatened to destroy him from the inside; his heart was already aching. He didn't want to think about how much more intense it would be when the rejection was real, and not just a thought.

A muffled sob ripped through the air, Jay's head snapped up and he found himself staring at a mop of messy red hair. The hands on his shoulders loosened, but didn't release them. Jay was still at a complete loss for what to do, but that didn't stop his body from moving on its own. His hand trembled, but it came to a rest on the mass of pale red hair; tangling gently in the strands. Now he was surprising himself with his own boldness; for the first time, he was actually pursuing something that he wanted. But the thought of rejection still hurt, but he knew that nothing could really ever decrease the pain and fear or that; it was just a fact of being in love.

Suddenly Moses' head shot up, Jay's hand still tangled in his hair. Hazel met purple and Jay inhaled sharply at the intensity of emotions that he could see swirling in those reddish brown depths. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to do something, anything, before he burst from the pressure of keeping everything bottled up so tightly inside him. However, it turned out that he didn't have to do anything. Moses did it for him.

The bandit's lips were pressed firmly against his.

Jay froze and gasped.

He wasn't being rejected? Pushed away? Did Moses... feel the same way? The bandit might be an idiot; but he was so much more sure when it came to his emotions, could recognize them and initiate them much more. Unfortunately, his reaction seemed to be the opposite of what Moses had been looking for.

Moses pulled away, and before Jay could say or do anything, he was gone. The door slammed shut, jerking the assassin out of his stupor.

"What... have I done...?"

Little did he know that a certain bandit was asking himself the very same question on the other side of the door.

* * *

Whew, I wrote this in... two days, late at night; and when I say late, I mean past midnight because that's really the most time that I get in solid amounts to spend on my fanfiction. This is different from drabbles which can be written in a matter of minutes; so I need a more solid block of time to write something of more substantial length, otherwise it comes out extremely choppy and doesn't flow the way I want it too.

But this came out like I'd envisioned it, though I did debate a few differences in this thing; however, I want this be somewhat in-character, so what I had originally planned didn't work and this is what I came up with in its place.

So please, pretty please, leave me a review if you liked it or saw something that could use fixing or correcting. I don't have a beta, so everything is proofread by myself and things have a tendency to slip through.

Thanks for reading.

Kat.


	4. Act 4: Deep Silent Complete

**A/N:** Man, I'm pretty much exhausted right now. I've just moved into a dorm room in another city, and I've pretty much trashed the place in a matter of two days. Trust me, it's a disaster in here, but luckily my room mate doesn't mind too much, she's a slob like me too. Also, she's an anime geek and a gamer too, so we're all good.  
**Pairing:** Moses Sandor x Jay the Unseen  
**Disclaimer:**Tales of Legendia and its characters belong to Namco, not me. I own nothing; not even a copy of this game. The title is taken from the song of the same name by Nightwish.

**Act 4: Deep Silent Complete**

It took Jay a few more minutes before he had regained enough of his senses to think somewhat clearly. Slowly, he reached up and touched his fingers to his lips, eyes wide and breathing ragged. He couldn't quite believe what had just happened, Moses had just kissed him; the bandit had just kissed him. The bandit, the idiot, who he had been thinking so much about lately had kissed him.

Standing, his legs wobbled a little, but he was perfectly fine otherwise. Just in a state of shock. It took him a few minutes to gather himself together a bit more before he quickly got dressed. His clothing was dry now; it had been thrown over a rack in front of the fireplace, in which a fire was roaring, keeping the room warm.

It was something that he had missed these past months.

For the most part, he'd been working. Without war, there wasn't very much that he was given; but there were always those who were willing to pay a certain fee for him to dig up secrets for them. He'd been on and off the Legacy for the past three years, on various assignments. He hadn't taken up any assignments that required him to act as an assassin, but he had taken on a few jobs as a mercenary on the continent. It was almost too easy for him; most of the jobs were less then up to his level.

Though, it did pay well.

Cautiously, Jay walked over to the door and cracked it open. The hall was completely empty, which surprised Jay a little; normally, the Werites Beacon inn was bustling with activity. It was almost unnerving, the stillness and calm that had settled over the inn. He slipped silently out of the room and down the hall to the stairs.

Jay wasn't sure what he was hoping to accomplish, he wasn't even sure of what he was doing, but the twisting of the knife that had embedded itself at some point in his heart was ensuring that he wouldn't just leave. That was cruel and callous, and something that he could not bring himself to do to the bandit.

He had something to set right, and he was going to set it right.

.:-o-:.

Chloe looked up the stairs and gasped in shock. _Is that Jay?!_ Her thoughts raced, but that was the only thought that could explain the appearance of the teen in front of her. He looked so... **_different_** from the Jay that she had known, and she wasn't think of his appearance.

His hair was shorter now, but his bangs hung over and obscured his left eye, giving him a feel of mystery and danger that hadn't been there as tangibly as it was now. Chloe closed her umbrella and placed it in the corner with the mass of other umbrellas that were there. Her original purpose in coming to the inn was to visit Norma who had stopped by during her treasure hunting for a rest and to plan some sort of reunion party.

She had never expected to see Jay here.

"Jay?" The black-haired teen's head spun around to face her, and Chloe spotted the pain in those familiar violet eyes. "Jay!" She couldn't help it, she ran over and threw her arms around his shoulders; luckily, she managed to suppress the tears that wanted to spill over.

"... hello Chloe." His voice was rougher now, a little deeper, but it was still the same as it had been. As she pulled away, she noticed that he'd grown taller since the last time that she'd seen him. Nothing compared to Moses or Will, but the difference in his height was definitely noticeable.

"What are you doing here? No one's heard or seen you for three years! And Sandor... do you know how worried he's been about you?!" There it was, a pang in his eyes. "... you've met him, haven't you."

A silent nod and averted eyes.

"Here, let's go upstairs and we can talk about this." The two went back up the stairs and into the room that Jay had just come out of, he dimly noticed that Moses' clothes were gone now. Had the bandit come back while he was away? His weapons were still there, so he hadn't gone far.

Chloe hugged him tightly again the moment they were inside the room, a few tears spilling over, "You're such an idiot you know, an insensitive one at that, leaving everyone like that. Shirl's been worried about you, and even though he won't admit it, Senel too. But do you know what? You're disappearance hurt Sandor the most! Didn't you care enough about the rest of us to leave us some kind of letter or communication?!"

"... I didn't want to destroy any of your lives... my past has started to catch up with me..." his voice was hollow, almost desolate with sorrow. "I needed to get away for a little while... I had hoped that just maybe you would have all moved on without me..."

Chloe resisted the urge to slap the younger man, her hands trembled as she clasped them into fists to stop her from doing so, "Did you really think that?! You really are an insensitive idiot!"

"I know."

The cold and near dead admission stunned Chloe and stopped her in her tracks. She watched as Jay the Unseen seemed to come apart right at the seams.

"I don't know... when this all started, you all started to pick at me; making me feel a little more human then I ever had, ever had imagined that I could. But I lacked what you all had, I couldn't empathize, and I couldn't, and still can't, recognize human emotions for what they are... I didn't, don't, deserve what all of you have given me... the only thing that I have ever been good at is killing; killing and gathering information. That's it."

She couldn't help it, she reached out and lightly touched his cheek. Jay's shoulders shook with the force of suppressed sobs and his violet eyes were watery with unshed tears.

"Jay..."

"Even now, after three years of trying, **_trying_**, to get a better grip on what it means to be human, I still don't understand. And it's hurting all of you, it's hurting him, and I don't know how I can stop it!"

"You're in love with Sandor, aren't you."

Jay shook his head, "I don't if it's love or not! But I... something in me says it is, but I don't actually know... how I can be sure... it's unfair, for me to hurt him like this."

"Jay..." She gathered her thoughts and strengthened herself and her resolve. Chloe Valens wasn't going to leave her two friends like this, there was no way that she would ever do that, she was going to help them get through this barrier. The rest, she was sure, they could figure out on their own. "Just tell him what you feel. You might not know it, but Sandor does love you, and I am pretty sure, no I know, that you feel the same way too. Just tell him, that's all you have to do."

"I know that I do! But I... I don't think that..." Jay looked away and into the fire. "He deserves someone much better then me, someone who can give him whatever it is that I can't; that I'm unable to..."

"But that's not what love is about. All you can do is give him everything that you can, that will make him happy. Just you telling him this will make him happier then anything any of us could say or do for him. Jay, you're the only one who Sandor wants. And all you have to do is tell him that you love him."

"I... I do love him... that's what something has been telling me all along..."

"Anyone could have told you that you loved him, it's really that obvious Jay. You really aren't subtle when it comes to your emotions."

"Oh please tell me that I'm at least better then the idiot!" There it was, that spirit and and the old Jay that she remembered. Chloe smiled broadly.

"Actually, you're probably the worst at hiding those sorts of things then the rest of us. Even Sandor's more subtle then you when it comes to how he feels!"

Jay's cheeks flushed, and Chloe couldn't help but admire how much attractive he was when he blushed; it made him look much more innocent. Even though much of that innocence had been lost a long time ago, Jay still held vestiges of that innocence that the rest of them had lost over the years; Jay was still very much the youngest out of all of them.

She stood up and glided to the door, smiling back at him as she left, "Just tell him, and after everything's done, I want you to tell me how good it was!" She winked and smirked and shut the door.

"Chloe!"

* * *

Leave me a nice review please? I don't know when I'll be able to update this again... I'm thinking of throwing in a lemon. Lemon, lemon, lemon... yeah, I think getting to bed might be a good idea...

Kat.


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